I felt so much of your journey Rachael which is once again because of your amazing story telling and vulnerability. I think there is such a fine line between the good and toxic of a "hustle" mentality and it's so hard to know where that is. Your change in mindset here encapsulates that realization so well.
Thanks Michelle! Great observation about the fine line between good & toxic hustle mentality. It feels good to achieve goals, but when we get carried away, our constant goal-chasing & moving targets can grind us down.
Well done, Rachael! Beautiful final version. And "It's time to break away from the damaging narratives: the desire to be thin, to look like someone else, and to use long-distance running to validate myself. If I can handle the pain, then I'm healthy. I am worthy" is so well-said and crucial. Kudos! :)
Wow Rachael, your storytelling, the vulnerability of it, is so nourishing and inspiring. You're taking your writing to a whole new level of authenticity by sharing your personal experience. Very engaging! I'm also very intrigued by your turn of attention from running to . . . weightlifting! I thought you were going to talk about meditation or yoga or some such thing, but I actually love that your real life storyline defied a predictable ending. The takeaway I'm considering is that lining up with our natural affinity is what matters. And our natural affinity might not be a hugely radical departure from what we're currently doing, but just a half step away in a slightly adjusted direction.
Thanks Rick! Interesting that you thought I'd mention meditation. Meditation is like flossing, I know it's good for me but I don't do it everyday haha. I think weightlifting is my meditation. I'm focused on my breathing & form...the distractions disappear.
Great insight - we might just be a slight adjustment away from our natural affinity.
Such a great read and inspiring message Rachael. I don't know about you but I reckon Goggins' You've Got To Punish Yourself attitude to exercise and life is all kinds of wrong. As for running, I hate running on road but I found my mojo on off-road trails. Sounds like you've found your own happy place with weight lifting but if you are tempted to dig out the running shoes at some stage down the track, my advice would be to find a forest trail, leave your watch, your heart rate monitor and any pressure you put on yourself behind and run at the slowest pace you can manage and see what happens. A bonus is the fact that soft forest trails are so much easier on the body. I'm 49 and I've been running long distance trails for 20 years. So far, so good. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you, Robert. "The soft forest trails are so much easier on the body"...how lovely. The fresh air and coolness of the trees sure helps too.
I've done a few trail runs and enjoyed them. I'll dig up my running shoes again someday. I think I've accomplished what I've wanted through racing & training. That chapter is closed. When I eventually return to running, I'll leave all the gadgets behind.
If and when I return to running, perhaps I’ll do so without worrying about speed or training for a race. I’ll just run for all the reasons why I love it -- to clear my head.
My knee pain only flared up while running long distance, so I stopped doing long runs. It was probably “runner’s knee syndrome” which I’ve heard you can prevent by strengthening the glutes.
A moving and well-written account of the psychological side of fitness and the impact of self-talk. It is strange that while I respect David Goggins for his achievements, I did find his intensity to be off-putting despite resonating with your story around recruiting an analogous flavour of self-talk in the drill sergeant. Although I've long since given up running myself, there is a sense of nostalgia or wistfulness -- I vividly recall the first run that was not dominated by self-critical thoughts and was able to appreciate the scenery en route, or the intense focus of a maximum effort sprint. I find it curious that self-talk in the context of fitness lends itself to philosophy -- Goggins and "end justifies the means", "mind over matter" on one side of the spectrum balanced with self-compassion and encouragement on the other. If thoughts are fuel to action, what kind of fuel are we burning, and what are its long-term consequences? Perhaps self-criticism is the "fossil fuel" of motivation. Ha!
Wow, Tai, thanks for the insightful comment and hilarious analogy -- self criticism is the fossil fuel of motivation.
I also respect David Goggins. Of course, my upbringing wasn't anything like his. Perhaps when one is so held down by trauma, pushing your body through physical exertion is the only way to start building mental strength. But the body and mind can only use fear & anger as motivation for so long. Just like an injury, our minds need TLC too :)
I felt so much of your journey Rachael which is once again because of your amazing story telling and vulnerability. I think there is such a fine line between the good and toxic of a "hustle" mentality and it's so hard to know where that is. Your change in mindset here encapsulates that realization so well.
Thanks Michelle! Great observation about the fine line between good & toxic hustle mentality. It feels good to achieve goals, but when we get carried away, our constant goal-chasing & moving targets can grind us down.
Well done, Rachael! Beautiful final version. And "It's time to break away from the damaging narratives: the desire to be thin, to look like someone else, and to use long-distance running to validate myself. If I can handle the pain, then I'm healthy. I am worthy" is so well-said and crucial. Kudos! :)
Thanks again for your help, Silvio :)
Wow Rachael, your storytelling, the vulnerability of it, is so nourishing and inspiring. You're taking your writing to a whole new level of authenticity by sharing your personal experience. Very engaging! I'm also very intrigued by your turn of attention from running to . . . weightlifting! I thought you were going to talk about meditation or yoga or some such thing, but I actually love that your real life storyline defied a predictable ending. The takeaway I'm considering is that lining up with our natural affinity is what matters. And our natural affinity might not be a hugely radical departure from what we're currently doing, but just a half step away in a slightly adjusted direction.
Thanks Rick! Interesting that you thought I'd mention meditation. Meditation is like flossing, I know it's good for me but I don't do it everyday haha. I think weightlifting is my meditation. I'm focused on my breathing & form...the distractions disappear.
Great insight - we might just be a slight adjustment away from our natural affinity.
Such a great read and inspiring message Rachael. I don't know about you but I reckon Goggins' You've Got To Punish Yourself attitude to exercise and life is all kinds of wrong. As for running, I hate running on road but I found my mojo on off-road trails. Sounds like you've found your own happy place with weight lifting but if you are tempted to dig out the running shoes at some stage down the track, my advice would be to find a forest trail, leave your watch, your heart rate monitor and any pressure you put on yourself behind and run at the slowest pace you can manage and see what happens. A bonus is the fact that soft forest trails are so much easier on the body. I'm 49 and I've been running long distance trails for 20 years. So far, so good. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you, Robert. "The soft forest trails are so much easier on the body"...how lovely. The fresh air and coolness of the trees sure helps too.
I've done a few trail runs and enjoyed them. I'll dig up my running shoes again someday. I think I've accomplished what I've wanted through racing & training. That chapter is closed. When I eventually return to running, I'll leave all the gadgets behind.
Oh wow, this hit for me.
“Call me a masochist – I fell in love with the pain and endorphins.”
Same. I got super into running in college, which was surprising since I’m an asthmatic and always hated running.
But I got so hooked on daily night runs--they became such an important coping mechanism for me.
I’d do 6 miles every night and that runner’s high was NO JOKE.
I remember I’d get so anxious whenever I missed a run too.
I don’t run anymore, but fuck do I miss the intensity of it. It hurt so good.
Also this: “I also loved proving to myself and my imagined critics that I could defy doubt and run away from my insecurities.” Yup.
p.s. what helped your knee?
Night runs are something else!
If and when I return to running, perhaps I’ll do so without worrying about speed or training for a race. I’ll just run for all the reasons why I love it -- to clear my head.
My knee pain only flared up while running long distance, so I stopped doing long runs. It was probably “runner’s knee syndrome” which I’ve heard you can prevent by strengthening the glutes.
Did you listen to music while running?
Wishing I could at least do night walks, but it be scary out there lolol
I love that. It sounds like a much more freeing approach.
Oh interesting! I was wondering how people still manage to run after their 20's without totally destroying their body.
I definitely listened to music while running, that's how I got ✨in the zone✨
Ooh I bet you had the best running playlists 🔥🔥
A moving and well-written account of the psychological side of fitness and the impact of self-talk. It is strange that while I respect David Goggins for his achievements, I did find his intensity to be off-putting despite resonating with your story around recruiting an analogous flavour of self-talk in the drill sergeant. Although I've long since given up running myself, there is a sense of nostalgia or wistfulness -- I vividly recall the first run that was not dominated by self-critical thoughts and was able to appreciate the scenery en route, or the intense focus of a maximum effort sprint. I find it curious that self-talk in the context of fitness lends itself to philosophy -- Goggins and "end justifies the means", "mind over matter" on one side of the spectrum balanced with self-compassion and encouragement on the other. If thoughts are fuel to action, what kind of fuel are we burning, and what are its long-term consequences? Perhaps self-criticism is the "fossil fuel" of motivation. Ha!
Wow, Tai, thanks for the insightful comment and hilarious analogy -- self criticism is the fossil fuel of motivation.
I also respect David Goggins. Of course, my upbringing wasn't anything like his. Perhaps when one is so held down by trauma, pushing your body through physical exertion is the only way to start building mental strength. But the body and mind can only use fear & anger as motivation for so long. Just like an injury, our minds need TLC too :)
Such useful, valuable and funny (Rhonda 😂😂😂) read, Rachael!
This is starting to become an outstanding series that anyone can come back to when facing different challenges, excited to see the next parts!
Thanks for your kind words, Oscar! I'm doing my best to keep Rhonda outta my head 😂
Later, Rhonda! Weightlifting is so much more fun, too :)
True that! The gym is a playground of some sort :)
Love the human and candidness here!
Thanks Helen! I'm slowly stripping off the layers of fear and revealing naked vulnerability lol