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Garrett Kincaid's avatar

What a great piece, Rachael! The opening paragraph had me hooked, and then your surprising insights and personal anecdotes pulled me through each section.

I had never thought about the connection between body awareness and body image. They are fundamentally different — one healthy and one potentially debilitating — but connected. You’ve made the impressive feat of bringing body awareness into the gym, strengthening your “mind-muscles” in the process.

Congrats on your first unassisted pull-up! I played sports my whole life and tennis in college. In the last couple years, without that structure and routine around exercise, I struggled to find something that worked for me, and I didn’t love the iron jungle of the gym. The last few months, I’ve been doing calisthenics (body-weight exercises), and that’s been a breakthrough. Instead of an indoor gym, I’ll go to an outdoor park. And instead of the reps feeling like labor, they feel like play.

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Garrett, thank you for your thoughtful comment and for sharing your fitness journey. I too played sports my whole life, and I relate to the struggle of finding structure without a team, coach, and training schedule. And I think the aspect of play, as you mentioned, is key to finding and sticking with a fitness routine. I appreciate you sharing this piece on Notes!

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Grace Capobianco's avatar

LOVED this piece Rachael! Coming from collegiate sports, this really resonated with me. I think many of us, especially women, are so out of touch with our own bodies. It can be extremely devastating. But when you tap into that mind-muscle connection that you speak about, something changes. And you feel it not just in your workout, but in your everyday life. There are so many different ways to workout, but I agree with you - weight lifting cannot work without a mind-muscle connection, and perhaps that’s why it’s so life-changing! I love this for you and love this journey you’re on. Thank you so much for writing.

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Grace, this means so much coming from you! After I stopped playing water polo in college, it felt like I'd lost part of my identify and I fell out of touch with my body. You've written about your basketball experience beautifully, and the inner strength that exudes from your writing inspires me. Thank you for your sweet words and encouragement ❤️

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Ishan Shanavas's avatar

This post really spoke to me, Rachael. We NEED to break out of the beauty standards set by the male gaze. Our bodies do so much for us, and we should love it for that simple reason. We can always strive to improve your health, but we must fight the tendency to compare it with other people's bodies. We are all on our own journeys.

I feel like the "Gym Bro" culture really promotes this way of thinking. I wanted to point out this line that really captured the Gym Bro culture - "bulbous bros, fraternizing around the natural habitat of squat racks, grunting while hurling colossal dumbbells overhead.". Very well worded Rachael!

Your article reminded me of a piece by Haley Brengartner - https://insaneinthemembrane.substack.com/p/raised-by-mirrors. I think you'll enjoy it!

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Thank you so much, Ishan! Gym culture is intimidating. Luckily, there are nice dudes at my gym, and I don't want to cast broad generalizes on all bulbous bros :)

I loved Haley's piece and her writing in general. Thank you for sharing!

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Yehudis Milchtein's avatar

Beautiful essay, Rachael.

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Thank you, Yehudis. All of our talks about body image and fitness have helped shape this essay.

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Sandra Yvonne's avatar

"I’ve built the mind muscles, the invisible virtues, that carry me forward in fitness and in life – ambition, resilience, and self-care."

I love this. I don't lift, but I salute you. It sounds very meditative!

also lol @ muscle mommy

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Thank you, Sandra! And haha I'll keep on doing my ~ muscle mommy meditations ~

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Michelle Elisabeth Varghese's avatar

I'm not going to lie, you perfectly captured my fear of the gym here: "You know the type: bulbous bros, fraternizing around the natural habitat of squat racks, grunting while hurling colossal dumbbells overhead. It was an intimidating jungle." but reading about your journey makes me curious to learn more! You also do such a great job looking through the lens of the classic body image issues and finding the differences between how we are taught to treat our bodies versus the good that comes from wanting to be healthy and hit different types of goals. Great piece!

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Thanks Michelle! The Discord community helped me overcome my initial fears. I also worked with a virtual coach which required me to film myself at the gym lol. It felt so awkward at first filming videos with a tripod, but overtime her feedback helped me build confidence in my form.

As always, I appreciate your kind words and support :)

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Wow this is good Rachel. I am passing it along, and simultaneously taking it in. In older age it gets harder to maintain the external shape once enjoyed in youth, and I've had hints of this very useful perspective - "I’ve learned how to stop talking at my body and start thinking with it." - and would like to embrace it further. This is all wonderful encouragement, and reminds me there is a community gym a few min walk from my front door.

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Rick, thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! Your comment prompted me to reflect on how aging changes the body, like puberty, in ways that's out of our control. It's healthy motivation to keep building my mind muscles, so that I have the mental strength to face whatever health and body changes occur in the future

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Indeed. These are some fantastic habits to be setting a lifelong foundation for while you're young. Wise beyond your years.

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Kirsten Corbett's avatar

Rachel, I felt so happy to read this piece! I started lifting seriously with a coach and using progressive overload (I had been dabbling for a few years) this January. I began with the goal to become physically strong and have found that it builds mental strength and mindset just as much as muscle. For me, having performance goals (still working on that unassisted pull up) has also shifted focus.

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Kirsten, thank you so much for sharing! I love hearing this. I worked with a virtual coach, and she helped me focus on performance goals instead of anchoring to the number on the scale. Wishing you well in your fitness journey

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Chris Coffman's avatar

Congratulations on doing a pull up! I know you were an accomplished college athlete, but it’s interesting to read the understanding achieved by a thoughtful, sensitive person like you to their encounter later in life with strength training.

In addition to transitioning from “seeing” your body through someone else’s perspective (and I would suggest that other women and gay men are both much harsher, and more influential, evaluators of a woman’s physical appearance then straight men) to “feeling” (and being truly grateful for) your body, have you also experienced that sense of confidence and quiet optimism and openness that being physically strong confers?

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Rachael Tiss's avatar

Chris, thank you! Now I've gotta concur the rings :-)

I appreciate your thoughtful observation and question. Indeed, I do feel a quiet sense of optimism and confidence. I feel it when a life stressor catches me off guard. I feel it when I'm walking around the gym, knowing that myself and the other women belong their just as much as the big guys. When I make eye contact with another lady lifter, I sense a moment of sweet solidarity.

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Chris Coffman's avatar

Hi Rachael, I can assure you that, now that you can do a pull-up, you are ready for the Santa Monica rings. I wish I could show you, in 15 minutes I would have you on your way. It’s so much fun and so exhilarating, and you’ve earned the right to enjoy it and express yourself on the rings. It’ll give you another way to engage with the other women lifters. Ironically, I’d be interested to know how many guy lifters could do the rings—the strength to weight ratio is all-important and the guys who typically go for the “ripped” look aren’t actually that strong and are carrying around weak, watery, muscles.

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